I'm sure there must be worst ones than me out there.. surely there must be (?!).. I mean, the worlds full of sick crazy wackos that just have to be doing a far worse job at in than I do..
but loonies aside, I do often feel like I've been (and continue being) a pretty rotten one too.. I had no real contact with my brother and his 7 kidded brood as they were growing up. It's easy to try and point the blame elsewhere, but the truth is I never really made any great effort to keep in touch. - after a couple of decades of basically zero communication, we have only very recently begun a correspondence once more..
Of course it's helped little that we've both been on separate continents all this time.. and it's highly unlikely that we'll ever be living in close proximity of each other ever again.. .. But I'm excusing myself..
Today's my niece Amelias 5th birthday, and I've been mulling over the fact that since saying sad and tearful goodbyes to her, some 3 and a half years ago, at the train station in Sheffield, I've basically been completely out of her life..
The few times I've attempted to talk with her on the phone, she's not really cared for any part of it, which of course has been completely understandable, as I doubt she was ever fully aware who was at the other end, and what close friends we'd once been, before I upped and left.. flying off to the other side of the globe.
me and my old buddy and fellow fruitarian, prem das,
next to rustys market after a durian feast
Of course.. I had to leave really.. destiny was calling me impatiently, and despite the heartbreak of leaving behind loved ones, Australia & Kveta were definitely good and necessary moves for me.
But that doesn't stop me feeling sad about having family so far away, and not being around while they grow.
It's been on my mind lately too, about the possibility of me returning to England to catch up with everyone in 2011, but much as I'm missing folks there, and looking forward to seeing them, I'm also dreading the idea of a trip back to the UK.. numerous things I wouldn't be looking forward to if I were to return.. and I get so attached to our nest here and little garden too.. making it even more difficult for me to leave.. and then there's the who financial viability of a trip back there.. I'm normally an expert budgeter, and feel comfortable with a steady trickle of expenses, - something not compatible with a trip to the other side of the globe!!
What to do? only time will tell.. I want them all to come and live over here in Australia!!
happy birthday Amelia!
peace,
mango.
but loonies aside, I do often feel like I've been (and continue being) a pretty rotten one too.. I had no real contact with my brother and his 7 kidded brood as they were growing up. It's easy to try and point the blame elsewhere, but the truth is I never really made any great effort to keep in touch. - after a couple of decades of basically zero communication, we have only very recently begun a correspondence once more..
Of course it's helped little that we've both been on separate continents all this time.. and it's highly unlikely that we'll ever be living in close proximity of each other ever again.. .. But I'm excusing myself..
Today's my niece Amelias 5th birthday, and I've been mulling over the fact that since saying sad and tearful goodbyes to her, some 3 and a half years ago, at the train station in Sheffield, I've basically been completely out of her life..
The few times I've attempted to talk with her on the phone, she's not really cared for any part of it, which of course has been completely understandable, as I doubt she was ever fully aware who was at the other end, and what close friends we'd once been, before I upped and left.. flying off to the other side of the globe.
me and my old buddy and fellow fruitarian, prem das,
next to rustys market after a durian feast
Of course.. I had to leave really.. destiny was calling me impatiently, and despite the heartbreak of leaving behind loved ones, Australia & Kveta were definitely good and necessary moves for me.
But that doesn't stop me feeling sad about having family so far away, and not being around while they grow.
It's been on my mind lately too, about the possibility of me returning to England to catch up with everyone in 2011, but much as I'm missing folks there, and looking forward to seeing them, I'm also dreading the idea of a trip back to the UK.. numerous things I wouldn't be looking forward to if I were to return.. and I get so attached to our nest here and little garden too.. making it even more difficult for me to leave.. and then there's the who financial viability of a trip back there.. I'm normally an expert budgeter, and feel comfortable with a steady trickle of expenses, - something not compatible with a trip to the other side of the globe!!
What to do? only time will tell.. I want them all to come and live over here in Australia!!
happy birthday Amelia!
peace,
mango.
